


Winter Garden

by CaptGils



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Christmas Smut, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Violence, M/M, Out of Character, drama in the beginning, mild blood imagery, wholesome in the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 23:13:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17313671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptGils/pseuds/CaptGils
Summary: Gilbert and Ludwig are preparing to celebrate Christmas in some idyllic German city district, during some specific time. Despite the older brother’s declining health and the younger one’s destructive and disastrous behavior, both are equally as determined to make this Christmas work. This requires, however, loads of yelling, tears, control, honesty, maturing and above all else – love and compassion – to make this Christmas like any other Christmas they’ve had, and fix traumas left by the past.





	Winter Garden

**Author's Note:**

> So - I am sorry in advance. If y’all like it – great. But if y’all don’t – I apologize even further.
> 
>  
> 
> (And I am stupidly bad at naming things, sorry.)

**CHAPTER 1: CHRISTMAS EVE’S EVE.**

 

In Germany, some time and some place. Like any other city, district, town, village – whatever, was preparing for Christmas festivities. School and universities were on pause. For many men and women, it was the final day of work before the three-day festivities. Houses have been cleaned. Laundry has been washed. Invitations have been sent. Some have started their travels. Families (mainly women) have baked and prepared dishes for the whole family to enjoy. Christmas markets are behind every corner, selling last-minute goods before the actual fêtes. Even if the sun rises only around eight in the morning, people have been up and about since cockcrow. Like an idyllic postcard, people were minding their own business on this December morning. Whether it was indoors or out. Like every household in the country: a certain apartment, in a certain apartment complex, in a certain rich-bitch district, in a certain city, was no exception to this. The sun was still at bay, as a figure was pulling stuff in and out of the oven. Counters full of ingredients, dishes waiting to be washed, and flour everywhere – full steam ahead, Gilbert was running out of his patience. Irritated, he had called Ludwig already twice to get up and help. Furthermore, what he found aggravating was the fact that Ludwig appeared home a bit before four in the morning, very much hungover. When fetching the newspaper in the frosty morning, their neighbor, an older lady of noble origins, gave the older brother a judging glance. How could a young man, related to a famous war-hero of the country, behave in such uncivilized way? And in _this_ neighborhood? Shouldn’t a military household have stricter rules than an ordinary family of nobility?

 

In the dark room, the apartment’s study, Ludwig was lying under the covers in the bed. Still asleep, the little fuck was blissfully unaware of the hustle going on outside – overnight almost half a meter of snow had fallen down from the sky, causing sweeping small-scale chaos in the city he calls home. Or the shit-storm he would receive from his older brother soon enough. Since Lud rarely gets a chance to sleep in, the few days he can, he sure as hell uses them. University is a pain in the ass: early mornings, essays, lectures, practices, and all the parties are taking its toll! Despite him knowing fairly well what this day meant for his brother, he took his time to relax his body, mind and soul and sleep. Well, the above-mentioned shit-storm disrupted his sleep, as his brother busted the door open, yelling:

  ‘I AM OPENING THE CURTAINS, THIS IS THE THIRD TIME ALREADY LUDWIG!’

Wearing a simple white shirt and black pants, an ivory colored apron tied around him on a bow, he marched like an old graceful general to the windows, letting the light reflected by the snow enter the room. Ludwig turned onto his side, once again, back turned towards the window, pulling the cover closer to his eyes. Last night’s cabaret event took its toll, and the drug-induced high had ended like three hours ago. Gilbert continued to scold him, walking towards his bedside:

  ‘Ludwig, you’re seriously out of control! I don’t know what to do with you! This is ridiculous, you KNEW, and you still went to blow it off last night! I swear to God Ludwig, are you listening to me?! I am this God damn close to sending you off to the army to get your priorities checked! I didn’t get you enrolled into a university to piss off your money – MY MONEY – and time at some frat-parties at a cabaret! Where is your dignity – arriving home smack-dead drunk almost at four in the morning?! And scaring our neighbors?! My God!’

A hypocrite by heart, Gilbert started to pull his brother out of the bed. Or actually, he attempted to pull his brother out of the bed, who had a wild adventure with alcohol, bitches, cocaine, drinks, euphoria, frills, gambling and showgirls and -boys. The thing about Ludwig, however, is that he is well-endowed in the muscle-section. Having that against the feeble-complex of his older brother – he wasn’t budging anywhere from the bed.

  ‘…please don’t yell…,’ the younger brother finally muttered out some words. The plea was actually a reasonable one: the neighbors of the apartment complex have filed noise complaints. It ranges from yelling, to the previously mentioned Ludwig’s drunk or high-induced noisy behavior in the corridors, all the way to the loud moaning and grating noises of the bed. The only reason they have not been evicted is that Gilbert is a person of influence. A war hero. Eviction would result in a whole another level of a shit-storm to be fair. Despite the reasonable plea, it didn’t calm down the older brother one bit:

 ‘Could you PLEASE get up already?!’

While Gilbert was trying his hardest to get his brother shoved off the bed, to prove his point how serious he was about the Christmas arrangements, Lud crept his arm towards him. First under his brother’s arm – gently – until his hand was touching his neck. The moment Gilbert felt a firm, warm touch on his upper back, he knew what was coming. A very firm pull towards the bed. He had the time to screech ‘MAN DOWN!!!’ so loud, that the neighbors most-likely heard them, before finding himself in the loving cuddle of his younger brother. Lud was sneering as he was locking him down softly in his arms.

  ‘Oi, you haven’t changed one bit,’ Gil exhaled calmly, letting his head fall down onto Lud’s chest:

  ‘But please, remember that I am not as young anymore –’

  ‘Shush,’ Lud quietly spoke, cutting him by placing his finger on top of his lips:

  ‘I am still sleeping’

  ‘Lud, I’ve told you many times –’

  ‘Shush…,’ Lud repeated pleased in a soft manner, pulling him closer.

  ‘– that you cannot slam-dunk me into the bed with such force anymore’

  ‘Ahh…, is that the reason you tell me to go harder during nights, huh?’ Lud spoke up, pointing out one of his brother’s many hypocritical opinions. He turned around onto his back, grinning from one ear to another, whilst teasing his brother even further:

  ‘Is it to increase your stamina, or make you more durable during our rough-play?’

  ‘OI EXCUSE YOU – that is different, okay?!’ Gil defended himself, attempting to pull himself up:

  ‘Like I said, I am not as young as I used to be, so yes – I do need some … _exercise_ if you will. And yes, you do play very rough, and I love that, but it takes its toll, you know. You need to be gentler Ludwig – as an example, start by _letting me go of your grip and helping me in the kitchen_ ’

Did Lud listen to his brother’s wish? No, not quite, because he pulled him again towards him in order to give him a smooch before letting him go. The kiss didn’t please Gil one bit but rather caused grief. Reminding him of how it used to be. Pulling out of it, and sitting beside the bed, this time asking softly:

  ‘Would you please get up, …please? The coffee is still warm and the bread is fresh’

He had his hand softly on his cheek, using his fingers to caress his cheek and blond hair. Wondering, what did he do wrong? Why did Lud turn out like that? He let his gaze wander away from his younger brother. He is scolding Ludwig for the exact same behavior he had when he was his age, even younger. And Gilbert did even more extreme things. So why was he not able to prevent him from taking that path, he wondered. In the end, he only wants to give him a life he could only dream of. Why did he turn out like this? He let his hand fall off of his cheek but didn’t move away. Despite having only slept for a handful of hours, and dealing with a killer hangover, Ludwig was now wide awake. To think that he managed to upset the person he cared for the most this badly, and right on the day before Christmas Eve. Carefully sitting up, Lud reached out to hold Gil’s hand and brought it again by his cheek. Gilbert didn’t respond to this anyhow and continued to sit in silence. In disappointment. Lud started to worry a tad bit, had he gone too far?

  ‘…I’m sorry, Gil,’ he said very carefully after wrapping his arms around Gil and placing his head gently onto his brother’s shoulder. Frankly, he didn’t know what else to do – other than hug the bad feelings away. Maybe in some utopia that works. The other way to handle problems is to punch it. Again, maybe in some utopia that could solve all of life’s problems, but he would never punch his brother! While letting out a tear-swallowing exhale, Gil carefully wrapped in turn his arms around Lud’s (nude) body. Because of a notable height difference, however, he had to really pick up his posture so he could rest his head against Lud’s head. Once accomplished, he let out another sorrow-ridden exhale:

  ‘No matter what – I love you and am willing to do anything and everything for you’

Letting go of him, and following that by small soft pats on his back:

  ‘Come on, breakfast is waiting. I made some scrambled eggs. We have a lot to do’

Heartbroken, Gil slowly stood up and left for the kitchen. This left the disheartened Lud sitting on his bed in the now dimly lit room. The snow was falling gently outside. Ludwig turned his gaze towards the window, breathing calmly as he was watching the falling snow. It didn’t cross his mind that Gil would be this upset about his behavior. Without hesitation, he reached out for his morning coat. That puffy, cuddly, soft, long, thing. Perfect for a winter morning. Something in him told that he ought to change his habits. Or at least tone them down. He only has his brother left – who does everything in his power to make him happy. He only has his brother left in this world – whose health is chipping away. And Ludwig is killing him inside. Standing up, determined: this Christmas he would behave, and during the upcoming New Year, he would keep his promise. To make up for him, and to prove to his brother, that he is his everything. He stood up but glanced at the corner of the room. This dark corner he had his temptations hidden. In this small, hidden in plain sight cabinet, the Tarantella was waiting for his next meal. One more bite, a sweet kiss of temptation, slowly nibbling Lud’s humanity away. Tick tock my sweet child, time is running out.

***

Lud crept into the kitchen and dining room area, watching as his brother was rushing around. The kitchen, or actually a good chunk of the apartment, smelled of fresh bread and of Christmas spices. The kitchen was filled with memo-notes on shelves and on the food items, such as “REMEMBER THE MARZIPAN-STUFF IS ON THE BALCONY”, “rubbed salt at 5:25 am”, “marinate for 24 hours (placed around 6:00 =>)”, “includes PEANUTS” and “THESE THREE ARE FOR GLÜHWEIN LUDWIG, DON’T YOU DARE TO TOUCH THESE”. The room was filled with various delicacies and traditional dishes. Some were waiting to be moved to the fridge or to the balcony, which was now also a large fridge. Some, like the meat for Christmas Day, was marinating. Various biscuits and pastries were placed into plates and covered with papers and towels. Some of these were in very decorative metal boxes – they would most likely be gifted to the neighbors. On the table, there was a plate covered with a lid and a cup waiting for Lud. Before diving into his breakfast, Lud decided to test his luck in trying to sooth his pissed off, depressed and disappointed brother.

  ‘Why so much food again this year?’ Lud rolled behind his brother, gently placing his arms and hands around his waist. Cheek first he rested his head on his older brother’s silvery soft silky hair, gently lulling himself back into a very snooze-like state.  

  ‘You eat so much,’ Gil clapped back, cutting vegetables to be used in salads:

  ‘Christ sake, Ludwig. I know you haven’t dwelled that far into adulthood. You’re still growing, but only Heaven knows whose genes you got. Because they certainly are not mine, as you’re growing height and muscles _fast_. Occasionally it is very hard for me to keep up with your appetite, my dear’

It is true that when the two brothers walk side-by-side, people rarely say they look like siblings. The older one is nowadays looking more and more fragile, weaker and weaker than on the previous day. It is like the younger, more than a head taller with a handsome muscular posture, growing and becoming more polished each passing day, is sucking the life out of the older brother. Or maybe they aren’t even actual brothers, who knows, they’ve been here for a very long time.

  ‘Lud, stop goofing around, eat your breakfast and go and brush yourself up. We’re going to the market,’ Gilbert spoke firmly, whilst wiping the kitchen tops clean after throwing the vegetable slices into a glass bowl. Reluctant exhale, Lud let go of his older brother and swung around lazily. If it meant that he should listen to him in order to appease him, then do that he shall.

***

It was still snowing when the two brothers set their feet outside. The caretakers and janitors were cleaning the snow from the porches and roads, the powder-like snow piling up onto the edges. The weather was not terrible per se: the wind could get chilly, yet the snowfall can’t be counted as a blizzard anymore. It did not prevent people from going outside, or the kiddies from playing in the snow. The whole street had their Christmas decorations up. The windows of the opposing buildings were decorated with everything and more you could imagine. Papier-mâché stars of many colors, alongside them, silk paper snowflakes. Candles of any kind and shapes were peacefully flickering by their windowsills. From some windows, you could see the Christmas-trees or some other Christmas-flower ornaments. The normally quiet rich-bitch street was gushing with people, even if the sun hasn’t even been up for an hour. Some to catch a bus, others a ride, while the third to the marketplace around the corner. Generally, like the two brothers, people were in their winter attire rushing through the snow paved roads to get the final preparations for the three-day festivities. Beware of the potential ice under the powdery lose snow, Gilbert took careful steps along the stone steps, taking support from the iron rail.

  ‘So, what are we going to buy?’ Ludwig decided to strike a conversation. The chilly north-eastern wind was blowing from behind, causing Gil to shiver ever so slightly before responding, without turning to his brother:

  ‘The goose mainly. In addition, some eggs, since we ran out of those’

  ‘Are we going to take the Underground, or…?’ noting his brother’s cautious behavior Lud decided to ask.

  ‘It is a kilometer walk,’ Gil rolled his eyes:

  ‘Some fresh air will do good for the both of us’

  ‘Also, it is quite cold,’ Lud said as they were approaching their subway-station:

  ‘Maybe we should take the _Underground -_ ’

  ‘We’ll WALK Ludwig. We’re NOT taking one stop forward!’

That shut Ludwig up. Once his brother had decided on something, there is practically no use on trying to change his opinion. Even though the Underground Station is relatively new, it was like just finished four or five years ago. Just to please him, Lud exhaled his breath, white mist leaving his mouth:

  ‘When are we getting the tree?’

  ‘Should be delivered this evening’

Not even a neutral tone! More like obligatory and _forced_ in nature. How to get his brother into a more cheerful mood? Tomorrow the festivities would start, and he was very well aware how much Christmas meant for him. In both cultural and religious sense. Maybe Lud’s gift will please him. But then again, Gil has been very pissy after getting last week the third “Lud has been suspended for X number of days/weeks because of drug use and/or unnecessary violence in the university campus area”-note. And the winter semester is only half-way through! I mean, Lud knew fairly well what to do (only saying it wouldn’t be enough anymore) to make Gil happier. He practically had time finish his internal monologue of wonder, only to get startled by Gil’s leg slipping ever so slightly due to the ice, causing them both to flinch.

  ‘Are you alright?’ scared, Lud had taken a firm grip of his brother, because the last thing he wants is him to fall down. No matter how many doctor’s they’ve seen, no-one was able to tell why this war hero of the past has become fragile so fast. The only thing they said was “ _don’t break anything_ ”.

  ‘Yeah, yeah, I am,’ Gil responded, slightly startled himself:

  ‘You can let go of me and put me back onto the ground’

Only then Lud noted that he had lifted him around 15 cm into the air. People were looking. Rarely does Ludwig care what other people think, but this did cause him to blush slightly, place his brother gently back down onto the cobbled road, whimpering:

  ‘…sorry, didn’t mean to’

  ‘Ach, it is nothing,’ Gilbert fixed his coat a bit, brushing off the snow:

  ‘Thank-you for catching me, though’

The same _obligatory_ and _forced_ tone! How could he fuck up his mood so badly? And furthermore, why didn’t this possibility of an outcome cross his mind yesterday? Yesterday when a student-friend of his said “I have some good shit with me for the night” and Lud agreed to it without hesitation. That was Lud’s initial thought as he was picking up his pace, so he wouldn’t fall behind his older brother. Gilbert paused for a moment, noting how his younger brother was falling behind. This he found as odd, because it is usually him telling Lud to speed-down. Finally looking directly into the icy blue eyes, he asked:

  ‘Ludwig, are you alright?’

  ‘Yeah, just a bit exhausted, that is all,’ Lud brushed it off, to which Gil responded:

  ‘I would be surprised if you weren’t exhausted –’

_Slip_. And this time in a very weird angle when he was turning around. Thank God that Lud decided to hurry up and pick up his pace because otherwise, Gil’s skull would have hit the ice. This time his leg and ankle really hurt. And even if Gil tried to play his best poker-face, Lud knew when his brother was bluffing. Holding him very tightly from the waist, he gently made him stand-up again:

  ‘Can you walk?’

  ‘… it’s… plausible, but …,’ was a very passive, reluctant answer of Gil.

  ‘Would you like to sit down for a moment?’

  ‘Yeah, I guess that would be good…’

Taking once again a very firm grip of his brother, Lud carried him to the near-by Underground Sation. The station was built to resemble a traditional old farmhouse. The thatched-roof was covered in snow. Surrounded by a circular park, and some trees – this too looked like a very postcard-esque place. Going inside the building, Lud helped Gil to sit down on the bench, and he sat beside him:

  ‘Does it hurt badly?’

  ‘Ludwig, that was nothing – my leg only slipped,’ Gil started to play down the event:

  ‘I’ll just sit down for a moment, take a few deep breaths and we’ll be back on our merry way’

  ‘Listen, I don’t want that you’ll walk in a weather like this’

  ‘I can walk just fine!’ Gil took it very personally:

  ‘I’ve lived through worse! And the weather is nice! A little ice and snow are nothing compared -!’

  ‘I just … don’t want that you’ll spend the whole Christmas at a hospital…?’ Lud cut him off:

  ‘Just, get a taxi and go home. I’ll go and fetch the goose and the eggs and whatnot’

  ‘Oh, and since _when_ have you picked a goose?’ Gil rolled his eyes.

  ‘I’ll pick a good one –’

  ‘You don’t even know what a good goose looks like, Luddy!’

  ‘I’ll get the best one they have – how many eggs do you need?’

  ‘How many will you eat over the next three days? And add six to that just to be on the safe side…’

  ‘Alright, anything else?’

  ‘We’re so close to the market-square Lud –’

  ‘Gil…’

  ‘I CAN walk, for crying out loud!’

  ‘Gil’

  ‘Yes, I may have slipped and fucked up my leg in the process, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t make a kilometer walk back and forth. Because let me tell you, did anyone care if you slipped on some ice during the Silesian campaigns?! No, you just marched on! Horse slips and you fall over? As long as you have your head on your shoulders and a functioning spine, no one gives a fuck. And NO, and nobody especially cared during the –!’

  ‘Gil, I love you, for my sake and for the love of God – go home, _please_ ,’ Lud was now pleading:

  ‘Let me have the shopping list and take care of this’

Gilbert could go on for hours and ramble about his military past, which Ludwig has heard numerous of times. To prevent this, and get his stubborn proud brother to bend to his will, he continued in a very pleading, begging, soft manner:

  ‘This is not worth it – it is not worth to break your bones over this. Please Gil, just let me take care of this. Let us get you a taxi so you can get home. Or I could walk you home! Carry you, if you insist! But please, I want you to be home this Christmas, not in a hospital. Like… last year…’

Holding his hands in his, he was looking directly into his older brother’s eyes. With a slight exhale, Gil let his posture fall slightly. This is the Ludwig he cries to come back. Even if Lud behaves like a very shitty and ungrateful human being, these glimpses prove to him that _he_ is still there. Somewhere deep, hidden and closed from the world. That somewhere in this hunk of a narc is the old Ludwig. The loving and caring one, the one aspiring to give and bring justice to people who need it and who deserve it. Moments like these give him hope, even though it is a frail hope, that he is able to bring him back. 

        Well, too bad _Luddy_ is a shitty human. A manipulating, corrupt, piece of shit human. Or is he even that anymore? How much has the Tarantula eaten already of his heart? Three fours, four fifths – how much is there of that bloody tissue left, and how much of it are scars? For normal tissue or organ function, scar-tissue is not beneficiary one bit. That is the person Ludwig was now: he knows what to do, and knows which words to use to get his way. After making sure that his older brother was sitting in a taxi, Lud turned his attention towards the UndergroundStation. Ditching his emotions and feelings of the morning, old habits came back. The Tarantula was dancing and growing in size. Instead of going to the local market place, he decided to go through Mitte. He would get everything his brother asked on his way back. Seems like a reasonable plan to him at least. But now his hungry eyes were focused on the center of the Capital. There were a handful of reasons, which may or may not include collecting some _debts_ from his _friends_. To chase down some nameless cowards down the streets, and to play a _God_ while deciding on their fates. And maybe punch some communists if he sees any. Someone gotta deliver some justice in this chaos-ridden World plagued with false prophets. And his brother’s feelings? His brother’s tears when he will find out? Secondary. During that moment, at least.

***

The apartment is an old Prussian manor transformed into a luxurious apartment building. With three floors, in total it houses six apartments. The brothers live on the highest floor and have plenty of space for themselves. Red roof covered in snow, and the yellow walls were decently buried in the said snow as well. The janitor of the house greeted the younger brother, opening the door for him. He is a bearded man in his mid-forties, never knowing how to react when the infamous younger brother of the famous legendary war-hero approaches. Intoxicated, or not? Always a game of Russian Roulette, when an individual, whose personal record in deadlifting is 385 kg, approaches.

  ‘Did my brother arrive here earlier during the day?’ Lud asked, to which the janitor responded:

  ‘Oh yes, he did. Rather feeble, helped him to get onto the third floor’

Looking across the road, Lud exhaled his breath – it was getting colder, as his breath was once again misty white. The janitor, relieved that the younger brother was not intoxicated, inquired carefully:

  ‘Have the doctors been able to diagnose what is wrong with him?’

  ‘If they would have, he would be getting the correct treatment already,’ Lud stepped inside:

  ‘It started so suddenly, and he is not getting any better’

He had lowered his voice, and the janitor expressed his condolences:

  ‘Well, let us hope that peace will last…’

Yeah, basically ever since the peace was written Gil has been feeling quite shit. With two bags, Lud hurriedly went up the stone stairs. From the tall windows, one could see the pearly white scenery. Maybe even the lakes from the upper floors. When reaching their apartment, he let out a deep exhale, before opening the door. Now just behave like you _didn’t punch people, who owed you money, or other things, and give them bruises for Christmas._ Be prepared to disappoint the one you love even further. Be prepared to beat down a heart and soul who loves you despite everything into oblivion.

  ‘I am home!’ Lud called, to which Gil responded:

  ‘Where have you been? It has been four hours!’

Oh, has it been that long? Gil was sitting on the sofa, relaxing his leg, with a large cup of Glühwein beside him. He was wearing his thick long silk robe. It is furry on the inside and has a hood. It appears that he had taken a shower not so long ago and was now chilling. Television played some film, but it has been muted for the time being. And indeed, the whole house had been cleaned. The kitchen has now a clean shine to it and been prepared for Christmas. Floors have been swept, curtains have been changed from white to red. Candles to-be-burned on Christmas Eve were already waiting on their glass plates. Lud kicked off his boots:

  ‘Went through Mitte –’

  ‘Why’d you go to Mitte?!’ his brother cut him off:

  ‘You could’ve found everything you needed on Zehlendorf! You don’t know anything other than Mitte! If you went off your way to go to Mitte, then you might as well have gone off to Neukölln! For Christ’s sake Ludwig, if you were in Mitte to get your drug money, I REALLY will send you off!’

Well, that backfired, didn’t it? Couldn’t even say that you went to lend a book from the university library? He knows, he knows you well, _Luddy_. Thinking what to say next, Lud took off his coat and stepped into the living room where his brother was face buried into his hand. Disappointed. And further-more: betrayed. The words from before meant nothing! The hope was only a day-dream. For the first time in so long, Lud really felt the distress radiating from his brother. It hit home. At least during previous years, he had the courtesy to behave during Christmas-time.

  ‘…I got the things from the list…,’ Lud started carefully, and Gil exhaled:

  ‘For Christmas’ sake, I will not question you any further today or during the festivities. I will not let this ruin the atmosphere for us. I will act like you didn’t do anything wrong. But you can come forth and tell me honestly why you were in Mitte whenever you want. I will value that very much’

Lud was really starting to realize how his behavior was affecting his brother’s health. The Tarantula is having a feast. That distant feeling between the two was carving further into his heart. The fangs poking holes into his soul were dirty, and the claws ripping his humanity were thick and sharp. Hatred, anger, violence aided by the venom burned the dripping tissue away. Yet he thought that popping pills would heal and fix his heart. That the confront from the high made him forget the dark, cold, twisted reality. To experience the Paradise even for a moment. He knew it fairly well – every time he did this, he was one step away from the Grace of God. Basically, he was already on Hell’s doorstep. Normally he would sneer it off, brush it off and continue life as he had. This time he couldn’t. The little humanity he had left was screaming for help, soul gasping to get air. Eyes of judgment were piercing, penetrating into his conscience – does he really think he is above the law? Conscious landed next to Lud’s ear, asking from him: “ _can you hear the drums, and beyond that – the bells?”_. Feeling very uneasy, and guilty for what he may have caused, he sat next to his brother onto the sofa, asking:

  ‘How is your leg?’

  ‘It is alright, not that swollen or anything. The worst thing most likely is the bruises from your fingertips, you grabbed me that hard,’ Gil responded, whilst sipping the hot Glühwein. Deciding to act as nothing had happened, Lud pulled the large grocery bag closer. This caught Gilbert’s attention as he turned towards Ludwig curious. For whatever of a reason, Lud let out a small smirk and had a very soft smile on his face. Let’s blame the rosy blush on the cold winter wind. Or due to the embarrassment of Gil’s lashing out. The neighbors, if home, most certainly heard that. Either way, Lud let out a small sighing of relief. Gil placed the cup onto the coffee table, as he watched as Lud pulled out the goose from the bag. Making him forget of his suspicions, he stared at the big-ass bird. Eyes wide open, and lips puckered:

  ‘Well, at least it is a goose, I give you that’

  ‘I told them to give the best one they had,’ Lud smiled, feeling very proud of the bird he brought home. Like he would have shot it himself. The size of the to-be main dish for the next three days amused Gilbert, as in disbelief he was spinning it around. Whilst, with the help of Ludwig, placing it back into the bag, he sneered:

  ‘… we can feed an army with this. My dear, why did you get one so big?’

  ‘Well, you _did_ say that it is sometimes hard for you to keep up with my appetite, so…,’ the younger brother tilted his head, to which the older burst-out laughing. With hand-maneuvers he signaled Lud to take the heavy goose to the kitchen sink to let it warm some more, before starting to prepare that for the oven, as he gleefully giggled:

  ‘Oi-oi, of course, should’ve seen that coming! Maybe it is not big enough for you because I think it can fit the oven. Well, if you get fed up with it we can always give it to the Church. How very thoughtful of you, Luddy’

Lud was happy to see his older brother smiling and in a good mood again, and he cheerfully responded to his next questioning:

  ‘How many eggs did you get?’

  ‘Three dozen, plus those six’

  ‘Three doz– LUDDY!’

  ‘What, I want to be able to deadlift 400kg this winter!’

  ‘But that is just –!’

  ‘You told me to eat well so my body can handle it!’

  ‘But that is just not right, Luddy’

  ‘Not right for me wanting to protect you?’ and blow away the competition, might I add, he waltzed back to the sofa, leaning onto the back. It is true that one motivation for working out (alongside the very prideful nature and the need to show to the world that he is capable of many things) is the need and will to protect his older fracturing brother. Indeed, the past decade or two have been very hard on him, and it is this cycle of torment Lud wants to stop. By any means possible. If it means to grow more muscle power to keep his brother’s enemies in the bay, then do that he shall. Naturally, because of his own pride and egoistic nature, Gil is reluctant to accept the fact that he isn’t as powerful as he used to be. And in order to preserve the little he has left, he needs someone to look after him. Eyes locked onto his, before Gil could say anything against it, he pulled him in for a quick peck on the lips, and continuing like nothing would have happened:

  ‘Is the Glühwein still hot?’

  ‘Yeah, in the pot…,’ was Gil’s soft and slightly embarrassed response. This was interrupted by the door-bell ringing. The pleasant jingle ruined the re-bonding moment. Placing the cup down, Gil stood up, walking towards the door:

  ‘Lud, you ought to dress up’

  ‘Eh?’ Lud was still leaning on the sofa. Before opening the door, Gil smiled:

  ‘The tree’

He opened the door, and lo and behold – it was the gardener with whom Gil had discussed over the tree. After exchanging the season’s greetings, he told that the over two-meter-tall tree was waiting on the street level. Turning towards Ludwig, Gil spoke:

  ‘Oh yes, he’ll bring it up here’

Heavy exhale, reluctant push-up from his comfortable position, Lud put on his boots and coat. Before following the gardener, Gil grinned:

  ‘And make it snappy’

  ‘Will I get anything in return if I make it snappy?’ Lud lifted his brow. Gil rolled his eyes:

  ‘I busted your ass out of suspension for the third time already, what else do you deserve?’

The subtle glance what Lud gave before closing the door was enough to tell Gil what he wanted in return.  To this Gil responded by closing the door:

  ‘Don’t let the warm air escape, _be quick_ ’

Lud could take a deep inhale and an exhale of relief. His doom would be postponed. He was very relieved that his behavior didn’t sour Gilbert’s mood, or at least Gilbert is not letting it when they both are present. His soul may deny it, but his heart surely knows that Gil cries for his baby brother to return home from the front. Snapping out of his thoughts, the gardener patted the tree beside the front door. Tied by a net for easier transportation and only around half-a-meter taller than Lud, he picked it up and thanked the gardener for his services. After exchanging holiday wishes with him also, he started to climb the stairs again. Both men, the gardener, and the janitor were in low-key awe as Lud so effortlessly picked it up and started to climb the marble stairs. Like it was nothing! But little they knew of Lud’s growing guilt. Step-by-step, as he was getting closer to the door, it became more unbearable. More heart-tearing. More insufferable. Heavier. The pressure was building. The heat was increasing. Cold-sweat was starting to form on his back. But he was as stubborn as his brother, _he would not confront it_. Instead, he would continue like nothing would have happened. Laugh it off, and continue his old ways. Back to the reassuring ways, the feel-good ways, the comforting ways – alcohol and sex. One-step closer to Hell – the vodka’s in the lower cupboard, just add it to the Christmas-drink and drink the devil away. It didn’t take Gil long to respond to the doorbell, and the moment he opened the door, Lud smirked:

  ‘It is a thick one’

  ‘I paid good money for it, treat it with respect,’ Gil stepped aside, playing along, filing his nails:

  ‘I hand-picked it. It has been treated with care for the whole year: brushed, cut, groomed properly’

  ‘Why not pick a longer, thicker one?’ Lud kicked his boots off, continuing towards the living-room.

  ‘It must fit the living-room, Lud,’ Gil followed him:

  ‘Because what fun would it be if it wouldn’t fit?’

  ‘I could think of a few,’ Lud placed the netted, strangled tree onto the corner. Slowly, slowly the aroma of the fresh conifer started to fill the room. Gradually to the whole apartment. Mixing with the other scents, mainly the Glühwein and its spices. Examining the tree, Gil looked at it from several different angles, before ordering:

  ‘Take your coat off and cut the bastard free’

The tree was puffy, deep emerald green and almost scraping the roof. It was standing beside the balcony doors, next to a corner, a meter or two from the fireplace. It generously took the space from the corner with its luscious branches. Furthermore, it stood right beside the large living-room windows, so that others could marvel it from outside as well. Giving directions to the younger brother about the exact location of the tree, Gilbert had a soft smile on his face. A delighted one at that. Once the tree was standing on its final place, Gilbert turned towards the wooden crates next to the sofa. Opening them, wrapped in cotton and paper, he started to pick up the glass and porcelain decorations. Light from the embers of the fireplace made the glitter and the crystals shine and spark a bit. Giving it a warm tone. There were many various figures and things – ranging from balls, to lemon shaped, to pinecones and acorns, to candles and icicles. Red and golden bows, adorned with flowers, with matching red glass balls. Exotic and local birds, toys of various, dancing figures, and candy of every shape and kind. Before anything, however, he pulled out the platinum star. A simple design, but it was adorned with rhinestones. When light of any kind would hit any of the small stones – it was a sight to marvel at. Gil passed the star to Lud:

  ‘You know what to do, put it up there’

And thus started the Christmas activity they both enjoy the most, the ultimate bonding moment: decorating the tree. Doing as told, the star was in no time at the top of the tree. Starting from the top, going downwards, Gil started to pass Ludwig the decorations, dictating where he should put them on the upper branches. Purposely teasing, Lud sneering:

  ‘What, here?’

  ‘No, that branch!’ Gil pointed towards the desired thick branch.

  ‘This?’

  ‘Fuck sake, no!’ now standing on tip-toes and taking support of Ludwig’s shoulder, elongating his body to be as tall as he could:

  ‘That one! Christ’s sake, are you blind? Aren’t you a pilot? How more specific can I get?!’

  ‘Perhaps I am, this?’

  ‘My God,’ Gil was very well aware of his brother’s teasing, smirking:

  ‘Give the pinecone and lift me up’

  ‘Okay, as you wish,’ and woop – the older brother was lifted into the air like he were the ornament. Having his one arm around Lud’s neck, Gil gracefully placed the silvery pinecone onto the chosen branch. Once hanging, Gil puckered his lips, placed his free hand onto his waist:

  ‘Was it _that_ hard?’

  ‘No, not really… but I’ll tell you what _is hard_ ’

  ‘Oh, shush,’ a playful soft slap on the forehead, Gil turned to look at Lud, giggling:

  ‘Not this evening or night, no’

  ‘Not even in the morning?’

  ‘We won’t share a bed this night, that I can promise’

Lud put Gil down. What did he expect? How many more tears should he cry on the kitchen floor due to his behavior? There was a small tension between them as they were decorating the tree. It was a nice experience, but there was a tension. The room was not filled with Christmas joy, but rather Gil’s sorrow and Lud’s growing guilt and anxiety. In union, they decided after an hour to retire for the night. Or actually, that Lud would go to bed and Gil would finalize the goose, and basically be up all night guarding it in the oven. It would take hours upon hours to be ready – it was that big. Gilbert gave a weak smile, happy that he could be in peace the night. Or at least try. He wouldn’t have to be afraid, would his brother return alive or not. He wouldn’t need to leave and search him from the countless cabarets and bars during the small hours of the night. He knew that his little Prince would sleep safe tonight. And Ludwig made the only good decision of the day – he decided to let it go for this evening. He decided to respect at least one of his brother’s wishes and retired into the study. For once he listened to that gasping, struggling voice within. Temptation stretched its legs, trying to trap and pull him back. Like the spider it is, it made a web so pretty, but deadly, so that the Tarantula could have even further of a feast. But his bleeding, lousy-excuse of a heart won that night. Temptation crept away for that nightfall, but left the sparkly web behind as a reminder: Lud was always welcome. If he needed some other kind of love, or any type of love, he knew where he could go. But during that night, Lud had decided that the soft, tender, and unconditional love his brother gives is enough. It was exactly what he needed, but wasn’t sure did he deserve it. Despite him not being able to physically get it that night, he knows that his brother loves him so very much. If he wouldn’t love him, Lud wouldn’t have heard him pray for his safety, and cry on the steps of the home altar. He wouldn’t pray, tears flowing from his eyes, that he would wake up the next morning. But alas, for now, let them rest and sleep. Roll up your sorrow and scars into a parcel, tie it with a splendid bow, and gift it tomorrow. Lud, in the end, got only a few hours to sleep and Gil was working his ass off since cockcrow. Let the darkness fall, and let the sun rise up, and bring a new morning. Your sins will wait, they won’t disappear.

 

**CHAPTER 2: CHRISTMAS EVE**

 

Heiligabend. Church mass. For one hour. Lud is bored out of his mind, craving for some excitement, whilst Gil is having the time of his life. The Dom was filled with worshipping people attending the traditional afternoon mass. The priest’s words and preach echoed through the marble and gold-plated cathedral. Occasionally the pipe organ played a note or two. Uncomfortable dark wooden benches were Ludwig’s bane of existence as he was trying to find a comfortable position. Gilbert took a pillow to sit on. But the feelings became quite inverted when it was the main prayer of the mass. Gil practically dropped the song-book whilst Lud sat up straight astonished. There was a shift in the focus of the message. Christ wasn’t that central anymore. To this Gilbert responded by standing up and walking out of the mass, harnessing the power of insult to gain enough strength to drag Ludwig with him. As it was afternoon, it was starting to get already dark as the two brothers stepped out of the Berliner Dom. And thus, started the older brother’s rant.

  ‘Holy Jesus, fucking heretics, I say,’ Gil rolled his eyes as he pulled Lud away from the square:

  ‘Who they think they are, changing age-old _Christian_ traditions – excommunication and a one-way ticket to Hell for all I care. If they think they’re so special for pulling off shit like that – OH, they’ll be in my evening prayer, a prayer which will involve God smiting their asses back to reality!’

Lud exhaled his breath, doubting that one grumpy Christian Prussian is able to overthrow anything. The most his influence can do is that he is not axed off due to his behavior. Strutting arm-in-arm, with Ludwig struggling to keep up, Gil took the very bold move of continuing to criticize the mass out-loud. Basically – showing no sign of stopping until reaching Brandenburger Tor. That is a kilometer walk! Lud knew that there was one way to shut him up no matter what, and he was really thinking of risking it. But the risk of getting a stamp slammed onto oneself was too high, so Lud ever so carefully:

  ‘…well yeah, but the tree is nice’

  ‘Well yeah, it is from Thüringen this year,’ Gil commented, as they were walking towards the Underground stop, which now became visible in the distance. As they were approaching Lud’s university, Lud now desperately wanted to pick up the pace. The pillars and statues reflected and represented something grand and most certainly values and morals. Something that the brothers lack, but something that especially the younger one lacks at that moment and time.  Even though virtually everyone was celebrating Christmas, he still saw yesterday’s events in his mind. No-one could call him out. At least there and then. But that didn’t prevent paranoia from going to work. A very deep breath inhale – one got his breath punched out – long exhale – other a broken nose – sight focusing onto the pavement – hand gripping around his throat – glancing it again, this time in slight discomfort – demanding to cry something shiny – moving his head away – blood almost tarnishing your shoes, what would your brother think about that? It was a miracle that the iron missed you. Crawling from the shadow, partially disappearing into the trees of the park, the Tarantula was beaming. Swinging from side to side, like it was dancing. Claws of the furry legs were tapping to the rhythm of the drum. _Rom-po-po-pom._ It was now louder and faster than yesterday. Five eyes out of the eight were shining under the molted skin, thanking him for the meal. Soon there wouldn’t be any left. In that spot already stood seven dark hooded men. The number is getting higher.

  ‘Lud, slow down,’ Gil spoke firmly, before fully realizing that Lud was having some form of an anxiety attack. Eyes and face hollow, whole body tense, mind-blank, eyes fixated onto something only he could see – forever in the web, no way of getting out. Stopping dead onto his track, he spoke very softly to his brother, who was clearly lost somewhere in his mind:

  ‘Take a deep breath, my dear. Everything will be alright’

His voice…

  ‘I promise Luddy, everything will be alright’

… was stronger than Temptation’s? Lud snapped out of it, for a moment. Color wouldn’t return to his face still for a while, but he could finally concentrate on other things. That realistic were the hallucinations. Taking a firmer grip of his brother, Lud muffled:

  ‘I’m sorry – let’s move on’

  ‘You can always tell me, remember that,’ Gil sighed, preventing Lud from moving, by taking a firm grip of his other arm. He looked directly into Lud’s terrified eyes, and repeated his words, as the snow began to fall again from the sky:

  ‘If you can trust someone in this world, it is me. Everything will be alright, my dear Luddy’

Lud let his words echo in his ears, fighting the tears:

  ‘…everything will be alright, my sweet little brother, everything will be alright in the end…’

***

It was around five in the evening when they returned – and it was time for the two to have their Christmas Eve meal. Gil laid before them his pride of the past few days. Everything he has made, all the time he devoted into making the delicious dishes, was paying off. The roasted goose, dumplings, bacon, red cabbage, and several different types of little breads ranging from seedless to basic buns, and so much more. Gil was very happy, as he was cutting pieces and filling Lud’s plate with basically “a little bit of everything”. Placing the plate in front of him, Gil smiled:

  ‘Is this good?’

  ‘Yea, I’ll start with this,’ Lud gave a smile back:

  ‘Thank-you’

A slight giggle and Gil turned his attention to his own plate. Relaxed, Gil sat down beside Ludwig and began to enjoy his meal. Lud also started his meal in delight – until he noticed that his hand was covered in blood. Of course, the image made him flinch, but because Gil did not react to it anyhow, he deduced it was only that – a vision produced by his head. Because oh dear how much was his mind trying to make him collapse and give in to the cravings. Trying to brush it off, he attempted to continue his meal. A meal, of which Gil was very proud of. Yet the crimson red stains irked him to no end. Sighing, he could feel his pulse rate increasing, and hands becoming colder. Oh, how much he craved for a release, a way out. He knew it exited in the cupboard in his room, but then there was his older brother. Who he did not want to disappoint any further. Desperately, praying in his mind: could this all be just a dream? That he would wake up one day, and realize nothing from the past few decades have been real? Is there a way to go back to the time when life was simple, when he did not have to resort to _this_? Before the crises, before the collapse, before his brother lost his health, before the war, which changed everything? The events of the past few days, weeks, months, … years were running in Lud’s subconscious. Suddenly flashing images into his mind, reminding of everything – from addiction to almost homicide, about how ungrateful his soul was. Comparing that to the palaces he once roamed. Once he hanging flowers onto the walls, by the mirrors, for the Imperial family to enjoy, and overall being the crown jewel of the Empire. Instead of hanging flowers by mirrors, he left his sins hanging on the wall now. When the space ended, he started hanging them from the roof – there were so many. Space is limited, and the sheer number of bodies was leaving him to feel very anxious. Any more bodies and he wouldn’t be considered a human anymore. And he is supposed to deliver in the future justice for inhuman behavior. In loss of words, and afraid to admit his wrongdoings – he couldn’t take it. Guilt was building up. And the line of dark hooded figures, each holding a stone tablet to which has been carved his every crime, was getting rather long behind him on this one-way street. The line just stretched and stretched. Glancing all the way to the back, he could see the now elephant-sized Tarantula from Hell moving it’s eight furry legs, with claws out, to the rhythm of the drum. Eight eyes targeting the prey. Ready to bite, to blind him from the problems of reality. That is what has kept Lud going for the past three years. Who knew that one bad high was able to traumatize a person so bad that it comes back even whilst sober? This horrible image has been haunting him, and there is no way of getting rid of it. But lo and behold, there is a way out. There is a way to cure his soul, turn it from coal into something pure. One light-ray was reaching out to help him. And that is the person who loves him the most, who has been grieving for multiple losses. But the leap is rather long, and difficult to make… Couldn’t he just wake up, and start everything over again?

          Pardoning himself, Lud stood up and went to the bedroom to fetch something. Something shiny he got yesterday from Mitte. Returning, not being able to hold his guilt, Lud slammed eight gold chains onto the table. Gil stared at them slightly confused, before lifting his head when Lud spoke:

  ‘I went to collect some loans yesterday, hence I was in Mitte’

  ‘Ludwig…,’ Gil turned his head towards his younger brother, but Lud continued his confession:

  ‘They wanted to pay back with money, but you know how unstable that shit is’

  ‘…Ludwig…’

  ‘Gold doesn’t lose its value so easily. I had to force these out of them’

  ‘Just tell me you didn’t kill anyone’

  ‘I did not,’ Lud exhaled, sitting down next to his brother:

  ‘I couldn’t ever take a life’

  ‘Oh, Ludwig…,’ his brother pulled him into a soft hug, repeating his name quietly, lovingly, yet in a concerned tone, whilst caressing his platinum blond hair. Occasionally giving him soft kisses, he let his brother rest his head on his chest, partially on his shoulder. He saw that Lud’s soul was terrified, and tried his best to get to him. Afraid to lose his humanity entirely, he held his older brother very firmly. He was afraid. Scared of the Tarantula calling him back. Or better yet, he was scared of _himself_. But instead of either one of those calling him, Gil did:

  ‘Dear brother of mine, _please come back._ I miss you, I haven’t seen _him_ since Ruhr’

Placing his hand onto Lud’s heart, he continued:

   ‘I know he is somewhere here, please – I want to see you again. I know that he is lost, but certainly not dead. I remember how you said that you needed to grow, that you had to understand why the world is so cruel and unfair. I’ve been calling, and calling, and searching, and calling…’

Holding his brother tenderly, letting him listen to his heart beat and breathing, to combat the drums of temptation:

  ‘Please, return home. I know it has been very hard for us, but please –’

Voice starting to crack, and tears starting to form in his eyes:

  ‘…at least call back’

Who would have known, that instead of pills and potions tears heal broken hearts? The first to bawl their eyes out was Ludwig, crying for his demons to go away. He was tired of running, he now only wished to be freed from the sweet webs of Temptation. Crying for forgiveness, for peace and safety. Moved by his tears, Gil took a firmer grip of his brother. Smiling, clear pearls rolling down his cheeks from his eyes – his Luddy was home. After so long he had received his brother back. The two hearts – the past and the future – were together at last. Never losing his hope, he felt gratified. After calling for 16 years into the darkness, he heard a clear response from the shadows. He was afraid that the war to end all wars had not only taken his Empire, but also his baby brother.

  ‘Shush, be quiet now,’ Gil started to calm down Ludwig:

  ‘It will be alright. I believe in you. I believe that you can turn this around’

The more Lud cried onto his brother’s puffy silk coat, the shorter the line of his demons became. The longer he cried and further he confessed of everything he did, the stone-tablets the hooded figures were holding crumbled into dust. The more he admitted that he was afraid of … _life in general_ , the Tarantula grew smaller. Gil never stopped caressing him – he was quietly listening to the confessions of his younger brother, encouraging him to go on by small actions of affection. He too could feel Lud’s soul becoming lighter, and Gil felt more at peace with himself, with the situation, with his little Prince. It was only after Lud mentioned:

  ‘I am afraid that you’ll leave me alone in this twisted world –’

  ‘I won’t leave you, I never will,’ Gil decided to intervene, and take-over of the conversation:

  ‘Understand and remember my dear: even when I am not physically there with you, I am with you in your heart. I know you are capable of doing _amazing things_. You are capable of reaching every hope and dream of yours. You’ll triumph in life, of that I am sure of. You just must love yourself, and your people. Because, you know, sometimes _kindness_ is enough to perform miracles’

Honestly, it was odd for Ludwig to hear his brother preach about kindness, when in the end, it was he who yelled around two decades ago “I HOPE ALL OF YOU FUCKERS UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS KILL OR BE KILLED”. To be fair, it was war back then. But hearing that his older brother never stopped believing in him made Lud feel better. That there was hope for him, that he is not entirely lost. Yeah, he may have blown quite a few years to some dumb shit, but there was hope that life could turn around. That it could turn normal, like it once was. That not everything is _lost_.

  ‘I’ve already accepted my fate,’ Gil took Lud’s hands into his, smiling softly:

  ‘My legacy has left a mark already – let it be in good or bad, that is for the future and history to decide. I’ve done some things that I know will bar me from entering Heaven, and have guaranteed a one-way ticket to Hell. But my dear Ludwig –’

Now he was looking directly and firmly into his brother’s blue eyes, which were puffy due to all of the crying:

  ‘– please do not repeat the mistakes I did. Listen to my words: please learn from _your past_ , and do not repeat it. You have a bright future. Do not ruin it. You can still recover from this! You’re in the end also a _human_ – you are supposed to endure hardships, make mistakes, but also learn and grow from them. You’re able to _adapt_. That is what life is about. You don’t need to accept everything what life hands to you. Of course, there is injustice, and you should fight against it. You should fight for your values. But, whilst doing it – just be humane. Being kind to your surroundings doesn’t prevent you from using reason and critical thinking. Being kind doesn’t make you weak or a puppet’

Tear-ducts empty of tears, Lud was listening to his brother breathing some of his humanity to him. The Tarantula was now a small fingernail sized annoyance on the floor, at which Lud was keenly eyeing on. It was flailing and flailing, tempting and tempting. However, it had a defensive pose now: front legs pointing upwards, claws fully out, fangs visible. And if there is something Lud is good at, when problem solving is required, it is using raw force. Even if he knew that the spider was a product of his mind and was not physically there – he squashed it with his toe. With a small screech and a crunch, the Tarantula was mush. Only thing left was the carcass of the arachnid and sandy gravel left from the crumbled stone tablets. Tired, he fully let his head rest on his brother’s chest, and closed his eyes.

  ‘Are you tired, my dear?’ Gil asked, to which Lud nodded:

  ‘…yea’

Because of the sheer size and mass of the robe, Gil covered his brother with it. The warmth radiating from Gil, and the softness and puffiness of his robe, relaxed the little prince of Prussian decent. He is just afraid of what to come. It is naïve to assume that you’re capable to stop something Destiny has decided. You cannot stop the inevitable – when the evening is slowly starting to turn into night, you’re not able to stop it. You just have to live through the night, and greet the destruction of the morning by yourself. Life will take them away when you need them the most, and smack you onto the ground. And amidst the surrounding rubble and ash, slowly, one rubble at the time, would turn into a petal. Degrade into the ground, provide fertile soil for the next generation of blooms. This change is difficult, and time-consuming. It is only natural to be afraid of such a change, afraid of what is to come, afraid of the responsibilities what await him – no-one wants to think about it. And when it will hit, you’ll realize only then, that life is a path and there is no-way of going back. You’re stuck in the present, and have only your future as your light. So, seek comfort when he is still here. Someday you’ll succeed the throne, someday you must look after the flowers of this garden. Take care of them, water them, get rid of pests by any means necessary. But naturally, you don’t want that day ever to come. Tick, tock, tick, tock… you cannot stop the inevitable.

 

 

**CHAPTER THREE: CHRISTMAS DAY**

 

Ahh, what a pretty morning. The sky was clear, the wind is gone, small birds are chirping outside by the trees and windowsills. The sun has begun to color the sky into pretty orange-pink-spectrum before it would ultimately fade into gorgeous light blue. It would be reasonable to assume that it would be a cold day since it was a pretty cold night. Cuddling in bed, the past and the future of Germany were at peace, sleeping in each other’s arms. They would greet this morning together as one, and hope that yesterday’s tears could water the small sapling, so that it could grow into something grand (in hindsight, _grand it became_ … one could argue). In silk bedding, under the warm duvet and heads resting on puffy pillows, the two were still snoozing. No-one would yell this morning, nor scold or cry. Ludwig’s human-sized tarantula of horror was at bay. Everything was nice and tip-top, an ideal Christmas Day morning. When the sun-rays hit the window, Ludwig started to wake up. Turning lazily onto his back, he rubbed his eyes and face. Gil most likely wasn’t in a heavy sleep, as he reacted to his brother’s movements and yawning. Gracefully pulling himself closer to Ludwig, he greeted him with a good morning kiss, to which Ludwig responded with his (plaque inducing, teeth rotting, that sweet of a) kiss.

  ‘Did you sleep well?’ Gil asked from his brother, as he was tucking Lud in with the duvet, it was in the end pretty chilly in the room. Before answering, Lud once again turned onto his side slowly, trapping his brother into a cuddle. Again, giving him a soft (caries inducing, teeth rotting, that sweet of a) kiss, he smiled:

  ‘Way better than the previous nights, that is for sure’

I mean yeah, cuddling, and furthermore sleeping in the same bed, with the one you love and the one who has taken care of you since 15thcentury is stress-relieving. The emotional factor is a big thing in the end when sleep is concerned. Especially with healthy sleeping.

  ‘Oh, can I agree with that…,’ Gilbert barely finished his sentence before Ludwig grinned:

  ‘Gil, can we wrestle a bit?’

Because it was Christmas Day, and he was spending time with his brother (and he didn’t need to worry about blackmailing anyone for drug and loan money), Ludwig was in a very playful mood. Giving his brother first a questioning glance, Gilbert smirked:

  ‘As if I can win’

  ‘If you want, I’ll let you win,’ Lud tried to persuade his older brother and sat up.

  ‘As if that is any fun!’ the older brother rolled his eyes, and pushed himself up as well:

  ‘What I am saying that it is very unbalanced wrestling’

Now sitting (almost) at eye-to-eye level, the two brothers were exchanging various smirks, as Gil continued:

  ‘You can pin me down with one finger, that is unfair’

  ‘But you’re the clever one, brother dearest’

  ‘It is not much of a game if one can, once again, pin the other one down with half a hand’

  ‘Numerous times in history brains have been capable in defeating muscle’

  ‘Of that, I am aware of, and I am very taken by of your compliments,’ Gil pushed himself closer to Lud. Slowly continuing, pushing himself closer and closer, as he was approaching Lud’s lips, in a very soft and unthreatening manner:

  ‘And maybe, because of your kind words, I’ll reward you for it…’

Waiting for their lips to touch and for that passionate kiss — Lud got a pillow to his cheek very hard, and despite sitting on the bed, he lost his balance, tumbling over. Gil didn’t hesitate, going straight for the throat, laughing:

  ‘HOW COULDN’T YOU SEE THAT COMING?!’

Pinning him down as well as he could, sitting on top of his abs, and hold him by his neck, Gil continued to giggle:

  ‘That was so obvious, like oh my God, Ludwig, you fell for that?!’

  ‘Okay, since you decide to play unfair…,’ Lud grinned, as he effortlessly pushed himself out of Gil’s attempted pin down. Before he could get away, Lud grabbed him by his wrists and sitting up so that he could block Gil’s potential escape with his legs. Whilst Gil was thinking his next move, Lud continued:

  ‘I want that kiss, you know’

  ‘I will only grant that if you let me go from this lock,’ Gil smiled a very devilish smile as he was trying to bargain for his “freedom”. To this Ludwig sneered, puckering his lips:

  ‘Tsk, as if one kiss is enough for that…’

  ‘Fine, I’ll throw in a free dick-sucking as well. Do we have a deal?’

Once again, tilting his head:

  ‘Where do I know that this ain’t one of your tricks again?’

  ‘Didn’t I say yesterday that you can trust me, brother dearest’

  ‘I don’t, that is the problem’

  ‘And how can I regain your trust?’

Lud thought for a moment, and he thought for a very long, thick and hard moment. He could ask for a quick fuck, but that is too predictable. He could go forth for the dick-sucking, but that is too… ehhhhh. Also, it is Christmas Day, so it ought to be a special thing for such a special day. And then he knew:

  ‘Remember how we mixed strip-poker with truth-or-dare a while back?’

  ‘Yeah?’

  ‘I wanna play that again this evening, so let us save ourselves for that’

  ‘Oooh, so that is why I can feel your hard dick rubbing against me, huh?’ Gil sneered:

  ‘Okay, fine, then you better let go of me — if we ought to save ourselves for the evening…’

  ‘Nee-e, I want that dick suck, tho!’ Lud insisted. Managing to free himself, Gil hopped off. Dressing into the puffy silk coat, he gave a cocky smile. Slippers on, he gravitated towards the kitchen. Softly, suggestively, seductively, he glanced at Lud over his shoulder, amidst the grey-ish beige fur:

  ‘You can want all you want, but it doesn’t mean you’ll get it, Luddy’

***

The day they spend partially inside and partially outdoors. During the day, they went outside for a walk and also planned on to do some ice skating. Whilst outside in the crisp winter day, under the sunshine, they engaged in short conversations with fellow residents. Gil was a very loved individual in the district, and the residents were happy to see that he was more energetic than usual. Being able to walk for about a minute at the time, they were stopped by neighbors for a chat. As an example, the pastor of the church was also enjoying a walk with his family. Very eagerly and gratefully he was thanking Gil for the donations he has made this Christmas, and like many other, wishing him good health. Lud only got nods and short greetings, …obviously. As he was watching at his older brother, who was holding his younger brother by his arm, it was impossible not to notice how much he was radiating of happiness. And a thought popped up into his mind: would there be a way how to preserve this – this ideal world … this ideal winter day of calmness and perfection? Didn’t he say, that Lud is capable of doing _anything_? Gilbert’s giggling stopped Lud’s train of thoughts:

  ‘Ah, it has been a while when we’ve been skating!’

  ‘Just, gotta make sure that you won’t fall…,’ Lud smiled softly, to which Gil responded:

  ‘I am not afraid, you’re doing such a good job of catching me’

And then jokingly adding, whilst giving Lud a small pat on his arm by his other hand:

  ‘My guardian angel’

Over one obsession, ascending around another. It wasn’t a tarantula of alcohol and drugs this time. A loving spark was light by his eyes, as he was taken aback by Gil’s comment about him being his guardian angel. There must be a way to make life beautiful again…

  ‘Luddy?’ Gil noted that his brother was not on Earth right now.

  ‘Ah, yes? Yes, my dear?’ Lud snapped out of it once again, turning towards his brother.

  ‘Everything okay?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Lud smiled:

  ‘I’m just … happy’

They approached the frozen lake, which was crowded with fellow residents. The scenery was very pastel – the sky was of pastel blue, with a slight pinkish hue from the sun, and naturally, the ground was covered in icy-blue, grey-ish white snow. After sliding on ice for around half an hour, spinning around in pirouettes, and circles, and going around the ring – the two were enjoying themselves. The kids were competing in who could skate the fastest. Couples were softly chilling. And someone’s dogs are also slipping on the ice, playing with the kids. There were actually quite a few dogs. Taking a short break, the two brothers would have a sip of a hot drink, talk and tell anecdotes and other memories, which were awakened by the event.

            After which, they continued their walk in this glittering pastel idyllic district. The trees had a frosty layer on them – making, for example, the branches of birches appear white, and the pines grey-scale. Frost created ice sculptures by trapping small bushes into a thick case of ice next to the lake. There was literally no difference between how the Earth looked and the portrayals of the Heavens above. It was like the two Kingdoms merged into one. The snow crackled underneath their feet as they continued their walk along the quiet road. Happily chattering about anything, they ended up finding a quieter corner with large ditches of snow. The snow cleared from the roads formed indeed impressive piles. It wasn’t that hard for Gil to snag some snow, make a ball, and remark:

  ‘Oh, we got quite a bit of snow this winter, didn’t we?’

And swing it at Lud. Barely being able to dodge it – Lud got a little too into the snow-fight. Whilst Gil assaulted with snowballs a bit smaller than a tennis ball, Lud answered with balls the size of a larger scale watermelon. The ditches of snow proved out to be the perfect fort. Gilbert, with his light-colored coat, clearly had the advantage of blending into the scenery, but Lud punched with the more powerful ammo. Stealth became the name of the game. Having a bigger ball in his hand, Lud was trying to spot his enemy. How to get Gil to show himself? Wandering for a few moments around the snow as quietly and as slowly as he could, he was thinking of some bait or some clues. He was pretty impressed that Gil somehow managed to cover his footprints also – maybe he is not moving? And he got it. Sighing with a smile, readying himself:

  ‘ _Bayern ist das bessere Deutschland und Österreich ist das bessere Bayern –_ ’

And BOOM – he received a very hard-hitting snowball to the back of his head. Snappily turning around, ready to throw the snowball – only to be jumped on from behind and receive a snowball hand smacked into his face.

  ‘Shut up with that heresy,’ Gil spoke:

  ‘Not on my watch, little treacherous …’

Gil is too light-weighted of being able to push Ludwig down, however, he certainly has enough will-power and grip to force himself into a piggy-back-ride.

  ‘A Prince of Prussian origin, delivering trash like that? Don’t act like you forgot your origin – who gave you your everything, your soul and life?’

  ‘Got you to come out though…,’ Lud was still holding his watermelon-sized snowball. His plan was to somehow throw it at Gil. To throw it upwards, move underneath it, and gravity would take care of rest. However, he underestimated Gil’s hand. The moment it was in the air, it was smacked down onto Lud’s feet, followed by a gentle-ish slap onto his cheek:

  ‘Bad boy, you know your place – and you know I am above it’

That tone Gil had, it sparked a small excitement in Lud. Ya know, a small firework inside, going _pewww…_. Getting fed-up (and tired of holding himself), Gil hopped down from his brother’s back. Walking in front of him, he proceeds into brush the snow off of both of them:

  ‘But that was fun, we should play in the snow more often –’

But Lud wasn’t done. The snow was very powdery, thick and soft – so naturally, surprise pindown into a snow ditch and give Gil some kisses. And Lud’s thoughts started to wander again. Because name a time after the birth of Rome, when his soul wasn’t somehow able to prevail. If not immediate, then to plant a seed, so he could flourish in the future. To be reborn, like a phoenix from the ashes, from the corpses of the giants of yesterday – new life requires the destruction of the old. The fresh sapling needs a sacrifice containing nutrients to flourish. The souls able to change are the successors of tomorrow.

  ‘Luddy, why are you looking at me so?’ Gil giggled. The shimmering frosty snow surrounding Gil made him look like something out of this world. The very fair snow and microscopic ice crystals were floating, surrounding them, creating the above-mentioned sparkle. Pale white skin and the platinum white hair faded into the surrounding snow and frost. His red eyes and rosy cheeks, nose, and lips were contrasting the white. The long white eyelashes had a few of these ice crystals stuck, giving a further mythical appearance. This all made him very beautiful in Lud’s eyes. Giving his older brother a tender kiss, Lud smiled:

  ‘I just remembered how much I love you’

Now instead of lilies, grows a rose. Flowers are painted red, white shining underneath, whilst black thorns protect the plant from potential threats. Aggressively through its roots, suffocate – no truce.. _._

  ‘I’ve said it many times, but I’ll say it again,’ the blush became more intense on Gil’s face:

  ‘I am so grateful that I have you…’

To secure place to grow, and build _one_ of his own. To have enough water, light, and soil to live, wither the competition from others –

   ‘…you gave me yesterday the best gift I could ever ask for, Luddy –’

  ‘Ah shite,’ Lud remembered, cutting his brother off:

  ‘I failed to remember to give your gift yesterday’

  ‘Ach, it doesn’t matter,’ Gil smiled:

  ‘We have time today, yesterday was hectic enough – I’ll give you mine after the game. But again…’

The older brother became serious again:

   ‘I haven’t seen that sheen in your eyes for so long. It is so… pleasant, to see it again…’

Gil rarely has any difficulty to speak, but now he was speechless and hesitant. To see him so happy, and soul full of life, it meant everything to Lud. And God forbid, Lud wanted to make his brother feel even better:

  ‘I’ll cut down on the partying, that I promise’

  ‘Just – promise that the cocaine is _gone and dealt with_ ,’ Gil left out a soft exhale, with a smile. Lud scooched closer, and placed his arm around his brother:

  ‘I’ll get rid of it’

  ‘That I beg you of,’ Gil leaned onto his brother, and Lud continued his quest to make Gil feel good:

  ‘I’ll start to take university more seriously’

  ‘You’re already bringing good grades –’

  ‘I’ll bring better ones,’ one more kiss. His words made Gil indeed very happy and decided to invite himself to sit onto Lud’s lap. Gil is, in his humble opinion, old, needing to be taken care of (when convenient) and entitled that his opinion is heard and considered and ultimately executed (more often than it should be). Placing his arms gently around him:

  ‘Lud… I am cold’

  ‘Let’s go home then,’ Lud concluded. What else is there to say? They’ve been out frolicking for a few hours. Puckering his lips slightly, Gil huffed:

  ‘And when we are home, I want a warm bath’

  ‘We’ll have a warm bath – let’s just get going then,’ Lud was starting to get into the idea.

  ‘Too lazy to walk tho,’ Gil placed his hands onto Lud’s rosy cheeks, smiling:

  ‘Use your muscles and carry me home, please?’

  ‘We’re whispering behind a snow-ditch, Gil,’ Lud turned his head towards Gil:

  ‘We can’t kiss in public, and you’re telling me to carry you home’

  ‘They know I am old and frail, use that as an excuse’

  ‘They saw you super energetic’

  ‘Luddy, fucks’ sake, catch the hint already: I want you to hold me like this the whole day’

  ‘Arm-in-arm, you can take the support of me like that’

  ‘Luddy –’

  ‘In theory, I am still holding you if we walk arm-in-arm’

  ‘You know what I mean–!’

  ‘Shhhhhhh…,’ Lud hushed his brother:

  ‘I’ll carry and hold you the whole evening and night in my arms’ 

***

After taking a quick warm shower, Gil straight away went to dress up for the strip-game. Clothing ought to be strategical, and both of them know this. Neither of the two would hesitate to go straight for the throat if to get a chance, so defenses must be high enough. Meanwhile, Lud, who has already dressed up appropriately (read: head downwards clothed), was preparing the living room, mainly the seats and the table, yet also thinking about the truths and dares he would ask.

           But ah, THE RULES: are relatively simple, you see. Cards are divided into two: reds are dares and blacks are truths. The higher the number, with ace being the highest, one can ask either a truth or a dare. The questions or dares become more personal and worse as the number gets higher. Numbers from 2-6 are of lesser “evils”, with having i.e. questions about politics or something, usually filler questions. Cards from 7-9 are from what they fancy, and a card with a value of 10 can be already very seductive and lewd.  Face cards have themes: Jack is about “doing”, Queen is “hidden and secret pleasures”, whilst King is “the God’s choice” (basically whatever you want to ask). Ace equals “one wish in bed”, making it the most desirable card to receive. The Joker is like a King, but the opponent gets to use it. If one does not want to share truth or perform an act, they ought to “sell” a piece of clothing, the higher the number on the card, the higher the cost. But, the cost of a piece also varies – the more intimate, the more it is worth. Aces can be used to buy off a question or a dare as well. Gil, in all of his thirstiness, from the sofa, raised his hand, innocently chirping:

  ‘Can I make a suggestion… to ditch twos, threes, and fours?’

  ‘Fine, okay with me,’ Lud started to go through the card, picking out the to-be-ditched ones. Lud certainly is all for to the chance of getting to pork his brother sooner. After the cards were removed from the pile, Lud shuffled the deck and passed it to Gil to shuffle as well.

  ‘How many pieces of clothing are allowed on?’ Lud questioned. Whilst shuffling Gil smiled:

  ‘I think that six will be alright’

  ‘That much?’ Lud stood up to go and get even more clothes, like a scarf or a hat. Clearly, the two boys have different strategies – Gil is nuking on the more valuable clothes, but Lud is on coverage and risks of losing almost everything super-fast.

  ‘What? We’re having high-number cards. Basically, you don’t answer one or two questions and you’re out of clothes to wear,’ Gil placed the deck down, grinning. And thus, Lud’s clothing strategy failed him. But really, he just wanted to lose them fast. Everything was ready. And through a quick game of rock-paper-scissors, it was decided, that Lud would draw the first card. **10 of hearts.** A good card to start, at least Lud thought so. It was very simple what he wanted Gil to do. And he would have done it sooner, whilst playing in the snow:

  ‘Come and grind against me’

  ‘You won’t feel much with due to my coat, but okay,’ Gil has a devilish content grin. It was then when Lud realized that he would end up _hating_ that coat. Gently sitting onto his lap. Rock back and forth, to right to left. To move slow, slide gently up and down. Basically, imitate the softness of the powdery, shiny snow. The only difference is that instead of cold it was warm. And it was getting warmer. But really, Lud didn’t feel that much because of the coat, leaving him a bit disappointed. And a trend started to form. As Gilbert was returning to his spot (to the sofa), on his way he pulled his card. **Ace of clubs**. Gil had his mouth open for a moment, eyes open and vivid, until biting his lip softly with a very satisfied grin. He placed the card down next to him and sipped his tea. He didn’t mutter a word, only took elegant small sips of his hot beverage. **Jack of spades**. Only _ever-so-slightly_ disappointed that he got a truth-card instead of a dare-card, Lud just went with it:

  ‘What the hell were you planning on doing with that ace, if you have a grin like that?’

  ‘Luddy, how dare you!’ Gil exclaimed, holding his tea in one hand, placing his other onto his chest:

  ‘What fun would it be, if I told you what I am planning? And it is a jack of spades – I am super comfortable and warm now, and now you’re forcing me to remove everything! Luddy, how could you – and on the second round!’

The (acting of being) insulted and surprised in Gil’s voice was very playful, as he was holding his puffy silk coat tighter around him. Lud couldn’t care less if his brother would lose everything right there and then, but did offer:

  ‘You can sell the ace –’

  ‘I am not selling the ace! Hell no!’

  ‘Alright, jack of spades is 11thcard,’ Lud started to count with a grin:

  ‘Divided by two is 5½, rounded up so it is worth of 6. So, what is coming off?’

Gil had on the following: scarf, the puffy silk-coat, thigh-high socks (treated as a singular thing), sheer night-shirt, underwear, and a garter. The first two are worth one point each, thigh-high socks worth two, nightshirt is three, whilst the last two are four. The easiest would have been to ditch the two-point and one of the four-point items. Gil started off by throwing the scarf off, then proceed into removing the two black woolen thigh-high socks, and the nightshirt. Wrapping the silk garment even tighter around him, he sneered:

  ‘Watch me, this coat will be on me till the end’

He proceeds into drawing his card from the pile. **Eight of hearts**.

   ‘Dare to the eight level,’ Gil sipped his drink:

  ‘I want a kiss after that – that was a very rude and dirty thing you did this turn’

Gil’s “insulted-ness” entertained Lud quite a bit, who tilted his head:

  ‘And you’re being that lenient on me?’

  ‘Yes’

  ‘Really, only a kiss?’

  ‘Yes’

  ‘The dare is to kiss you?’

  ‘YES, and get snappy with it!’ Gil commanded. Lud obliged, standing up and moving to the sofa where Gil has made his nest. Covered and clad in his puffy silk dream, Gil was acting up as the Queen of the Tundra or something like that. Lud leaned in:

  ‘Where to kiss?’

  ‘ _My hand_ ,’ Gil lifted his left arm slowly towards him. Lud expected something else. And the trend continues: he felt like he had just been cock-blocked. Or kiss-blocked in this sense. Taking Gil’s hand petite hand, with long fingers and nails, into his, he was just about to kiss it, but Gil gave some more directions:

  ‘And I want a _kiss_ , no slobbing and no tongue’

  ‘Oh my fucking God…,’ Lud was starting laugh because he really expected something else when he agreed to the dare. But you know what, the boy likes humiliation and to be told what to do. In reality, he got more than what he bargained for, Gil was just being pulling the right strings:

  ‘God is above, and you’re down there – get on with it’

After giving the softest, most loving kiss he could give, Gil proceeds into handing him over his teacup:

  ‘Ah, and whilst you’re up and going – refill this to me’

  ‘This is not part –’

  ‘Oh shush, you’re anyways walking towards the kitchen – I took my socks off and the floor is cold’

  ‘We have underfloor heating, which was installed into the whole house because you bitched about the cold floors so much and the landlord didn’t want to get sued…’

  ‘Don’t care, fill the cup already,’ Gil pushed the fancy cup at Lud’s face, who with a smile accepted his fate, and went to pour another cup of green tea for his brother. Round number three, coming right up… they both got fives. Lud got five of diamonds, Gil got five of spades. It was boring, filler questions about politics ensued. The next interesting round was round five. **Queen of Hearts**. Lud is happy.

  ‘Get the collar and put it around my neck, please… I am starving and thirsty…,’ Lud was really starting to starve for something. Like good stuff is granted for the upcoming night, but he wants some now. Like ASAP.

  ‘Tsk, is that even a dare for me?’ Gil rolled his eyes:

  ‘That is more like, you’re asking for _mercy_ and _relief_ and stuff like that’

  ‘Aren’t dares supposed to challenges of courage?’

  ‘Okay, fine…,’ Gil rolled off the sofa and his words, gently hissing:

  ‘I’ll be back soon…’

Lud could wait, as he was eagerly anticipating for his beloved accessory. Maybe Gil purposely took his time before returning, to drive him even further to the edge. In the end, the more Gil managed to tease Lud now, the less foreplay is required to make Lud go overboard. Even though Gil doesn’t show how horny he is, he wants it equally as much as Lud does. Returning back, with Lud’s oh so beloved thick and wide leather collar, he showed it off to cause some form of visual stimulation to further tease the bastard. He sensually placed it around his neck, and Lud took every ounce of enjoyment he could receive. Especially when Gil was tightening the collar around his neck. Purposely making it harder, and forcing Gil to tighten it over and over again, he kept making slight movements with his head, neck, and shoulders. Once ready, Gil messed Lud’s hair, because he was fully aware that Lud is a desperate fuck, and was returning to his place on the sofa.

  ‘I brought the leash also because I’ll make an academic guess that you’ll want that also, at some point,’ Gil sat down, throwing the leash onto the other corner of the sofa from his coat’s larger than life pocket. Lud had low-key left Earth again, only fueled by the idea of being pulled by the leash. The rocket was about to leave the atmosphere but made a quick U-turn as a pit stop as Gil pulled his next card, a **Black Joker**. Lud is now even happier:

  ‘Oooo… I could get rid of your clothes this round –’

  ‘NO, don’t you dare to do that!’ Gil cut him off, cheeks becoming rosy:

  ‘It is a truth card – I’ll answer fucking anything’

Very tempted to pull out the question from the second round again, but he decided to go against it:

  ‘What if I would fuck you on the balcony…’

  ‘Luddy, it is cold outside’

  ‘…during the night…’

  ‘Lud, it is even fucking colder then!’

  ‘…on New Year’s, whilst we sip champagne and watch the fireworks?’

  ‘That is a date - like that sounds good’

  ‘And we’d greet the New Year by me nutting into you?’

  ‘If you can time that…,’ Gil pointed his finger towards Lud, with a very, _very_ pleased expression:

  ‘I’ll be impressed, a nut whilst church bells ringing, and now I am looking forward to that’

 Next round. Lud pulls five of clubs. Nothing interesting, but Gil on the other hand… **Ace of Spades**.

  ‘YES, RACK ALL OF THE ACES!’ as he smashed the card next to his ace of clubs. Now Lud, still fully clothed, _really_ wants to get Gil into a tighter spot. Yeah, his brother has lost half of his clothing, but he got his second ace. So, whatever will happen, Gil will have a splendid night. Still somehow maintaining his high and euphoria caused by the collar, Lud optimistically pulled out his next card, starting round six. **King of Clubs**.

  ‘GIVE ME RED FOR FUCKS SAKE,’ Lud suddenly lashed out, causing Gil to snort out his tea. The rocket had crashed onto the Earth in Lud’s mind. If he would have gotten for example King of Hearts, he would have dared Gil to suck and/or ride his dick right there and then. Yes, the Queen of Hearts did satisfy his needs a bit – but it is only limited to “hidden desires”-themed dares. It is no secret that Lud has been edging the whole day and wants to go. Whilst Lud was thinking of what to do, Gil went ahead and pulled **Ace of Diamonds**. Gales of laughter filled the room, echoing. The rocket has not crashed into the Mariana Trench. It was clear that Lady Luck was favoring one brother: the younger was desperate and horny, still fully clothed, and pulled out a truth card, whilst the older went ahead and pulled out his third ace.

  ‘Alright, fuck it!’ Lud howled after looking at his laughing brother, still holding his third ace in his hands. He would make his brother sell one of those aces, or get rid of the clothing:

  ‘If not answering honestly, the King of Clubs is worth eight! What are you planning on doing with me this night?!’

Covering his mouth with his hand, Gil couldn’t stop laughing. He was having the time of his life – off went his underwear and garter. Only the coat is left. Lud, feeling defeated and low-key humiliated by Luck (and he loved it deep inside), just groaned in despair.

  ‘Aww, poor Luddy – teased to the edge and fully clothed, no aces, and we’re only on round six,’ Gil was having the post-giggles. Reaching his hands and arms out to him, he called for his younger brother:

  ‘Come here, I’ll give you a hug. You look like you deserve one, come on’

Disgraced, dishonored, discouraged, but Lud took the offer and cuddled next to his brother’s arms. Almost at the brink of tears, he face-planted into Gil’s coat – just like yesterday. Gil had placed his arms around Lud, and playfully, yet mockingly reassured:

  ‘Oh, don’t worry. It’ll be good. I only got three aces, perhaps luck will turn around. Pick a card’

**Queen of Diamonds**. Lud just glanced at the leash, and Gil reached out to it. Click-clank, Lud was now leashed and collared, and Gil yanked him down to his eye-level. Resting next to him, Lud was a tad bit more content with his luck. He wanted to get rid of his clothes though, but Gil keeps on getting the good cards. Gil proceeds into lifting his next card. **Red Joker**. He didn’t have time to say anything, Lud was already at his neck. Tongue and teeth first.

  ‘Lud, Jesus Christ –!’ Gil managed to push his brother off, and make eye-contact again:

  ‘Save your thirstiness to the bedroom, geez! I almost spilled my tea!’

  ‘Oh, come on, don’t tease me more,’ Lud was begging. He has been fighting that erection for like, what, the whole day? Taking the final sip of the cup, Gil rolled his eyes:

  ‘Pick up the next card – my whole neck will be bruised tomorrow’

**Ace of Hearts**. Dumbfounded, Lud was staring at the card, letting it sink in. Gil decided to congratulate his brother in his _victory_ by giving him a smooch, and carefully caressing his cheek.

  ‘Oooh, Luddy got the ace of hearts,’ he spoke in a slightly diminutive way, still holding the leash. Lud was now officially done: he wanted to go, and he wanted to go badly. He wanted his clothes gone. He wanted his brother in a bed. He got one ace, he is satisfied, he wants Gil to suck his dick and pound Gil in the ass:

  ‘Can we _please_ call it quits with this game for this night?’

Usually, they stop when all the good cards have been played, and more often than not stop when all four aces have been gathered. Gil, very satisfied of his ace-count, nodded as a form of approval. Leash in hand, and the cards in his pocket, he stood up and started to wonder towards the bed-room. Lud, purposely waiting for the leash and collar to restrain and strangle him, followed behind. Boy likes to be choked and dominated.

 

Now, let me tell about the main gimmick of the master bedroom. The first thing you would notice is that the bed is enormous, has a bunch of pillows and is round. The mattress, thick and soft, is round. The head of the bed is on a curve. Not your traditional bed. Lud thinks it is very unpractical, and would prefer a more traditional one, but Gil wants to brag about his round bed. Not everyone was a very space-consuming, unpractical, but arguably very stunning round bed in their bedroom – that is Gil’s argument for keeping the bed. The study, which doubles as a guest-room, does have a traditional rectangular bed. Like this bed is something Gil prides on. This extravaganza of a bed takes a lot of space of this room – mostly half of it is dedicated to the bed. This bed is like a princess bed: pearl white bedding (on a normal night it would be cotton and on more special nights, satin or silk), with frills going around the bed, dozen or so pillows, with two thick large duvets (because it is winter). And of course, to crown the “princess bed”-look: tulle and lace bed-curtains, which can go fully around, and hide, the Round Bed. And to make this bed even more ridiculous than it already is: surrounded and marked out by the bed-curtain, the sealing is a mirror. I guess no explanation is required to explain why Gil installed a mirror up there, and why Lud (despite questioning it) didn’t go against it. Otherwise, the master bedroom is very late 18th– early 19thcentury, if you will, and looks very much like the _owner_. Over-the-top and unnecessarily unpractical just to get bragging points because it is pretty. The only purpose of this room is to have a place where the brothers can fuck (and spectate it from the god damn mirror), house the round bed, have some pretty petite rococo furniture just because, and to be the other access to the balcony. And have the liquor cabinet. Anyways, as they reached their bedroom, Lud didn’t hesitate about throwing his clothes on the floor and to give his wish, but Gil spoke:

  ‘Yeah, I am using one of my aces to overrun whatever you wish for’

  ‘But… wait,’ Lud lifted his brow, already basically in his underwear:

  ‘Can Aces do that?’

  ‘Well, now they can,’ Gil went to the narrow rococo cupboard, to pick out _something_ :

  ‘Take a deep breath, and just – trust me’

A long wooden box, a dark long box. He returned to the bed, and before proceeding he put his night-garments back on (woolen socks and the risky cotton nightshirt). Lud continued to insist:

  ‘But you got three, and I got one –!’

  ‘Luddy,’ Gil lifted his brother’s head towards him, with his finger:

  ‘You may think you know what you want, but I know you _really_ don’t want it’

  ‘It’s my only –,’ Lud attempted to speak, but was quickly shut up by Gil’s sudden jerk of the leash:

  ‘Trust me, I know what you want. You haven’t even seen what I have in the box for you’

Presenting it to him:

  ‘Would you like to open your gift?’

Lud took the box into his hands, and carefully opened it. Eyes wide of wonder, and thrill, he carefully lifted the new sturdy black leather whip. Lud accidentally managed to snap the last one, so he was very excited to get a new sturdier one to be whipped by. The thing even had some rhinestones, it was that fancy. Of course, Gil would get the fanciest one he could find, and speaking of that…

  ‘Because oh, _Beata Virgo Maria_ , I just thought that as, especially based on this day, you’re getting stronger… and harder to control,’ Gil continued, whilst reaching out to get the item from the bag, chilling on the bed-side:

  ‘I thought that this might come in handy’

And pulls out a leather harness. Showing it off to Lud, who was already ecstatic, Gil sighed:

  ‘You resist my pulls from the leash quite well, so I thought that this might do the trick, however…’

He put it down onto the bed, and reached out to the bag again, and pulled out a metal harness:

  ‘I couldn’t decide which one to go with. Furthermore, I assume that the leather one is super nice, and that this metal one is rougher. So, if you’ve been especially bad – you’ll get the metallic one. And speaking of you behaving very badly today –’

Gil picked up the leash, taking a tighter grip and started to pull Lud closer to him:

  ‘The Austria and Bavaria comment, I remember that’

Lud wanted a harness for quite a long time. For whatever of a reason, he didn’t dare to ask Gil to get him a harness of any type. He only left subtle (or not) hints, through which he expressed his desire for an item like that. I guess it wouldn’t be surprise to state that inside him was now taking place a firework show. Starting to dress Lud into the leather harness, he continued his reasoning:

   ‘So, we’re gonna test my theory that is the metallic one more uncomfortable and rougher’

For Lud, it wasn’t _uncomfortable_ per se. But compared to the leather harness he once tried, it was indeed rougher on the skin – left more marks after sessions. But Gil realized soon enough, that the fact was:

  ‘Ah, why didn’t I see this coming: of course, you like the metallic one more…’

Lud didn’t say anything, he was so over the moon. Truth be told, Gil didn’t need any words of reassurance, because one could read Lud’s face like a book. Search “heaven”, adjective, from the dictionary, and there would be a chance that Lud’s expression would be there. In fact, he was so infatuated with the new harness, that Gil had to use the whip quite a few times to get him to move. And give quite snappy hits at that. Maybe it was Gil’s nagging commands, because the whips just increased Lud’s pleasure meter, which made him sit up. When he finally got Lud to sit up, Gil _still_ continued:

  ‘Also, we’re gonna deal with your hands, I don’t wanna be pinned down yet’

It was reasonable, because if Lud wanted to do that and start ramming Gil, nothing would stop him. He is as strong as a bull, and occasionally behaves (and cums) like one. Gil had Lud’s hands tied behind his back, with the ropes being attached to the back ring of the harness, for more support (Lud has been able to break through the ropes). Either way, what did Gil like to do? Push out Lud’s excitement and frustration to the max, and then let him go. The same strategy is applied when Lud is competing in weightlifting or boxing. With the help of the whip, leash and collar, and the new harness, Gil directed Lud to lean onto the pillows against the head of the bed. And Lud liked to be teased, to be told what to do, and to be dominated. The power-dynamics between the two, however: physically Lud topped Gil, but mentally Gil topped Lud. Essentially Gil was getting fucked by a bull, which he controlled.

  ‘Alright, let’s deal with this…,’ Gil sat directly onto Lud’s crotch. Taking the rose scented massage oil, he dripped a generous amount of it onto his palm. Starting from his chest, Gil started to rub and massage Lud. Feeling pulse from more than one spot, Gil gently ran his fingertips along Lud’s skin. And like any other massage session, Gil _stroke_ a very normal, mundane conversation:

  ‘Ah, so when was your next weightlifting competition, next month?’

He used all of his fingers, going in circular motions on Lud’s chest muscles. The finger tips were barely touching the skin, just sliding on it. Causing almost a tickling, but most certainly a pleasant sensation to the receiving end. Lud responded, in a very mumbling, dreamy manner:

  ‘…yah…’

  ‘I know that you’re an uttermost beast already, but the boys there can lift _so much more than you_ ,’ Gil continued, occasionally applying alternating amounts of pressure to his movements. Occasionally instead of using fingertips, he uses his palms or knuckles. Once Lud’s skin was very sensitive to touch, Gil switched to using the tip of his nails:

  ‘You haven’t trained in a few days, you ought to do that tomorrow’

Lud was starting to lose it, but the trooper was fighting against the urges of breaking free. On one hand, he knew Gil would punish him for doing that, which would cause him more pleasure. But on the other Gil won the strip-game, thus the night will be conducted on his terms. This also exited Lud, to be utterly dominated and not having a say in anything, but he didn’t know would he get whipped as hard, which he also wanted. As he was pondering how to act, Gil moved downwards. Now it was the abs turn to be massaged. Soft, gentle movements, Gil was following the outline of Lud’s well established muscles, giving him some very pleasure inducing shocks. Starting from the area of touch, the chills went all-over his body, but once it reached his brains – he could just feel the happy-hormones being released, sprinkled around like exploding glitter bombs.

  ‘So, tomorrow you’ll lift more iron that the last time, yes?’ Gil continued:

  ‘Because how else will you win? You have dreams, don’t you?’

Ah, Lud certainly has dreams – but as if he could tell about any of them at that minute. He was so caught up on that moment of pleasure, that he was prancing around and about on fluffy clouds in his mind. Basically, Lud was a vegetable, paralyzed by pleasure. Gil took note of this, and he moved downwards again, before making Lud moan.

  ‘Holding this the whole day, huh?’ Gil took a firm grip of the outline of Lud’s thick dick:

  ‘Don’t worry…’

He freed the thing, continuing his massaging, whilst lubing it up also with the oil. He used the same strategy as before: first fingertips with various levels of pressure, and once very sensitive – nails. But he noted a few _special_ areas – most particularly underneath the tip – giving these selected areas _extra_ attention:

  ‘…it’ll be over soon, Luddy’

He now again leaned forward, stretching his arm onto his collarbone – and slowly slid his fingertip all the way up from there all the way down to the underneath. Lud really was contemplating on breaking free, because he didn’t want to cum on himself. Because if Lud was over the moon last time, he was now way past Mars and going full speed ahead towards Jupiter. Or actually, he passed Jupiter and was hoping to crash into Gil’s anus as soon as possible. However, perhaps good on him – the teasing was about to end. Gil, despite hiding it pretty well, also wanted to get rammed very hard. All this build-up of the day was about to pay off, he thought. Glances can tell a lot. Words aren’t always necessary. Because Gil only thought that “okay, I’ll release you now” – and Lud broke free. Whatever ropes they use, they ought to switch to metal for the time being, because these clearly are not enough. Like – _schnapp_ – it broke. Lud only flexed a bit, and the ropes couldn’t handle it, even attaching it to metal didn’t help. But in a matter of moments, Gil found himself riding Lud’s cock. Eh, not actually riding, but getting slammed by it. Hard. Like any other breeding session, it was hard, it was rough, very vocal, but also relatively short. When Lud realized that he couldn’t go full speed ahead whilst Gil was riding on top of him, he flipped his older brother to be the one leaning back first onto the pillow-slope. With this, he got to use all of the required muscles to their fullest degree while thrusting. Did the neighbors hear? The lower floor certainly did, but thankfully they’ve gone to listen to an Opera performance. As Lud let go of all the pressure and build-up of the last few days: being denied to sleep next to Gil on one night, and being denied sexual advances for the last three days, drug-cravings and so forth. Gil, on the other hand, was holding from Lud’s collar for his dear life, and was getting very vocal about it. Whether it was calling out for God and Jesus, encouraging Lud to go on, gasp out for air and let out moans of pleasure. Well, you get two things from a good bull: loads of meat and posh jizz. And Gil knows that. Maybe the round bed is in the end a sturdier option also.

           After about three minutes, it was over. And it was Gil’s turn to be in heaven – for a while. Lud nutted so hard, that he collapsed on Gil. It is an achievement in a way to trip over their own nut. All of Lud’s body mass was crushing the already decently frail Gil, so he had to mutter:

  ‘Lud… please, I can’t…’

Thankfully Lud realized this, and sat up. Whilst sitting up, he picked up the very in a good-way shocked Gil.

  ‘…did I break anything?’ Lud asked with a smile, slightly panting. Gil had still his faze focused upwards, whilst Lud was resting his head on the morning coat’s puffy hood, which lay on Gil’s shoulder.

  ‘Nee…,’ Gil let out in a weak voice, catching his breath:

  ‘Everything is intact…’

May not be able to sit properly for the next few days, but hey – no bones broken. That is important. But he was exhausted, as he slightly kept struggling to keep himself up and sitting. The heavy coat didn’t help, nor did Lud’s leaning, despite Gil being firmly anchored to Lud (in more ways than one). Lud noted that his brother’s body was giving its first signs of giving out for the night. In the end, Gil was right: he is not as young, nor can Lud use such force anymore. He may say it, but still is somewhere denying it. Yes, it did upset Lud slightly that his playmate of so long was not physically as fit anymore, but on the other hand…

  ‘Would you like to take a bath?’

  ‘But Lud, we already took one today,’ Gil’s still had a frail voice. Instead of him leaning onto his older brother, he pulled Gil closer to him, so that the older brother could get support from the younger. Perhaps it’s time…

  ‘Yeah, but let’s use the bigger pool,’ Lud suggested, gently holding his brother:

  ‘It is Christmas in the end, and … maybe it would do good for you’

  ‘But Luddy –,’ Gil lifted his head, slowly.

  ‘We can continue there then,’ Lud gave a light nuzzle:

  ‘Didn’t the doctors say, that you should _exercise_ in the water more?’

At first, he was slightly astonished by the offer and the reasoning, but this turned quickly into a very vivid giggle, after which giving a nod. So much building up and teasing only for a few minutes? Now when the urges have been dealt with, now it would be time to go slower, and to make some love instead.

 

Perhaps the time was right to let the older step down and for the younger to take the throne. To let the rain fall and clean the soil, ready it for a new reign. To let the rubble and the ash turn into petals – new life. To take responsibility, and grow up. Maybe it was time for Ludwig to step up and take care of and watch over _his_ garden – his people, his country, and most-importantly, his older brother.

 


End file.
